please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
