Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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