I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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