Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
