Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
