Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(916): View more from California

How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

(1-916): View more from California

Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.

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(702): View more from Nevada

He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.

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