Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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