i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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