I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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