I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So I just went to clothing optional bar
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
