I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
