I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
