OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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