Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
