We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
