Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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