u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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