I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
