My room smells like vodka and shame
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
