1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
