My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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