WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
