Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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