jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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