i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
