handjob tips. give me some.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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