i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
