You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
