Me. At least after what I've been through.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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