just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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