dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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