Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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