I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize