it wasn't lemon gatorade
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I need moral support for this bender
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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