so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
