Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
