Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
