So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
this is an emotional support booty call
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize