I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
