My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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