Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
