Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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