you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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