Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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