he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize