Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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