taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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