she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
