I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My pussy is not your playground.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
