just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
