Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
