Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize