i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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