ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
