How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
