Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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