hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
