I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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