Have you finally orgasmed yet?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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