yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
