Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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