I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
