dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
