i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
