what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just tell him i said nine months
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
