i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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