This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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