I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
