i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
