Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize