woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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