U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize