i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize