I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
